Yay ROCKS :D

Okay; I understand how scissors can beat paper and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no way in hell that paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock will tear that !@#$ up in 2 seconds. That's why when I play rock, paper, scissors... I always choose rock. Then when someone claims to have beaten me, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, " Oh !@#$ I'm sorry, I thought you. You !@#$%^&."